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Wednesday, November 21st, 2007Pissed! What the fxxx with these damn people? I can’t stand it any longer. All I can do now is look forward and forget about the fxxking present. I want my own life back and I am glad that I am responsible and tough enough. I know I can support myself and be independent.
This week had been real stressful. I am writing my LCCI Level 2 exam tomorrow and I had no time to prepare. Accounting is actaully something I enjoy, so it’s up to luck and my own knowledge now. All I hope is I pass it so I can move on to Level 3. I don’t really need this cert since it won’t help much career wise; just something I hope to get. So what’s happening in my career? I am finally getting trained in the Finance department in the Accounts Payable section and sort of in Payroll. I really prefer the work of a manager since I get to use my brain a little bit more. I am afraid it will get rotten soon. My training program should last a year and after that I will be the Assistant Financial Controller. I think I am quite lucky since I get to choose which position I want and then get trained for it. Sometimes I really wonder what I have done to deserve this, but honestly, I know I am more capable than a lot of the other people. I really believe Finance is more suitable for me than Revenue.
At home, the most of the furnitures have arrived. I really like my sofa and the rest are alright. The only problem is my bed and two bedside table don’t fit in my room. I knew things wouldn’t be perfect and expected something like this. So all I can do now is have one bedside table and move the other one to the study room. I am not too upset about it, but got really pissed when someone asked me why I didn’t measure carefully! Damn! I wasn’t the one holding the measuring tape. I didn’t even complain and you blame me? Honestly, am I suppose to know everything? I know this is my house and at the end I will be the only one responsible. I will have to worry about the furniture delivery, paying all the damn fees and the million other small things that come with owning a house. I already have enough to worry about and unneccesary comments are really not welcome. And for your information, I don’t have a million buck, so don’t expect everything to come easily for me. All I own today is through hard savings and it didn’t fall from the sky. It’s easy for you to say buy this buy that or tell me to pay someone to clean the house, but do you know how stress I am that I have already exceeded my budget? I guess the main thing I have learned or maybe I should say have been reminded again is I can only rely on myself. There are others who will help me but they will only be there when they don’t have other priorities. They won’t go out of their way to be there even if I really need their help or when I feel helpless.
I miss the days when I was in Toronto, where I can hop in my car and go wherever I want. Sometimes I feel I am really dependent here. I have moved back for 2 and 1/2 years already but there are still so many places I don’t know how to get to. In Toronto, when I wanna buy something, I can just drive there, buy and go home. I can buy 10 bags of groceries or whatever, but here I depend on someone to drive me there. I dunno how to get home if I am holding 10 bags of groceries. Buses are impossible to get on, taxis are impossible to hire and walking is also impossible. I wonder if I will ever get use to this lifestyle. I hope I can move soon and I will at least be happy staying at home in my own space.
